Originally published June 2019
It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day juggle struggle challenges of mom life. We have a lot to do and usually a short amount of time to do it. It’s super easy to let our checklist, not our hearts, rule our days.
But at some point, we do need to live in the now, so that we don’t miss what is right in front of us.
“It’s just a phase – don’t miss it.”
Have you seen these videos?! Oh my gosh mama,.. if not, grab the tissues and prepare for an epic Hallmark Moment.
Check this out…
To find out more about The Phase Project, visit the website justaphase.com
I was first shown this video on a Sunday morning.
My husband and I had just dropped the kids off in their respective Sunday school rooms. We made our way to the large modern assembly where our main church services are held.
As usual, we walked in right as the pastor was getting underway. We can never seem to make it on church early.
We wormed our way through the packed movie theatre style seats. Our church is large and modern, yet cozy.
The guest pastor was talking about parenting, a topic familiar to us as we are in the heart of parenting with our five-year-old and seven-year-old boys. It is a title and a job we both absolutely adore. Don’t get me wrong, as you know if you are a parent there are definitely ups and downs, but we wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I’m sure like most moms, I find myself in the middle of the night, wide awake and wondering if I am a good mom. The days blaze by so fast. Did they brush their teeth? Did I hug them enough? Did I help them to feel loved? Did I do all I could do for them?
Here’s the deal – worry will do nothing. What we can do is live in the now. But how do we get fully present and really live (and enjoy) the now, so that we don’t miss the phase of life our kiddos are in right now.
How to Enjoy the Now
Take a Deep Breath
Catch yourself during the day and pause. Take a deep breath. You know the kind I am talking about – a deep, calming breath.
Your breath has a way of centering you and helping you focus on the now.
Some people will actually set an alert on their phone to remember to take pause and breathe. Others will wear a rubberband or bracelet on their wrist and every time they see it, they pause to take a deep breath.
Realize It’s Just a Phase
I think the biggest step to just enjoy the now is to get into the now. Realize this right here, right now, is just a phase.
[Tweet “Those adorable little faces, and tiny voices are just passing through on their way to adulthood.”]It’s cliche, but true… the days are long but the years are short. Before we know it, our kiddos will be up and off and out of the nest.
If we don’t enjoy the now, we will miss it — and then we will miss it.
Put Away Distractions
Those damn cell phones I tell ya! (Man do I sound old or what?!) But seriously those damn cell phones. Cell phones seem to control everything these days — our email, our social media, our calendars,…. our lives.
When we are around our kids it is easy to forget that their little hearts run off of our love for them. Their little bundles of self-esteem either get built up or torn down by the small every day things such as making eye contact when we talk with them.
I work my business 100% from my smart phone. I can honestly say there were days where it was tough to peel away from my phone. But when I learned that my kids self-esteem depended on my ability to fully tune in and put that device away, it became hella clear what I had to do.
The messages can wait. The world won’t end.
If you absolutely need to use your phone like I do sometimes, then make a promise to your child. Let them know how long they will have your undivided attention before you will then plug into your phone.
Be sure they get your attention FIRST,.. and not the other way around. If you tell your kid that you will tune into them AFTER your call, or after you return messages, then you are sending the signal that they are less important than what you have going on in your phone.
Eat Dinner Together
I know, I know, it can seem near impossible right? Between all of the kids activities, work, school and home,.. there just may not feel like enough time to sit together and eat a meal.
Here’s the thing, we have to make time.
Consistent mealtime together, particularly at home, can increase family bonds. It can also give a child greater sense of security and comfort, and help with better food choices.
Research shows that children whose families eat dinner together are far less likely to use drugs, have sex at an early age and more.
Check out this article with Tips for Busy Families to Enjoy Dinner. This entire website is dedicated to the Family Dinner Project and the importance of eating together.
Laugh More & Say No Less
I admit, it is easy to get caught in the cycle of no.
No you can’t paint right now, that will be a big mess.
No don’t play in the sink and get water all over.
No don’t pull out all of the pans so you can be little drummer boy.
But here’s the thing… to us it seems like a mess. To them, it is making memories.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned and continue to learn to do is to let go of having a tidy home. There is plenty of time to be super tidy when my nest is empty.
Get this sign, put it up and begin saying yes! 😉
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