the biggest thing kids learn from us
Photo by S&B Vonlanthen on Unsplash

The truth of the matter is that the little faces of our children are just passing through on their way to adulthood. These little voices we hear daily will someday transform and vanish forever. Our days with our kids, as kids, are numbered. Once they’re gone we never get them back. The impact we make in their childhood is forever imprinted.

Motherhood is a season of life. Motherhood is a season of growing your children. So don’t feel so overly guilty if you can’t volunteer for every single book drive, or help out every weekend at church, or be there for that random organization that swears they need your help and can’t go on without you. They will. And they will be fine. 

It’s okay to be choosy with how you spend your time and with whom you spend your time. It’s okay to volunteer a little less, so that you have more time with your family.

If someone disagrees with your decision to make more time for your family in this season of your life… that is their issue. That is their weight to carry,.. not yours. Be strong in your decision mama.

Right now our kids are learning and growing and changing. The kids they are today won’t be there even six months from now. We tend to think that as they physically get bigger they need us less because they can do things “on their own” and physically take care of themselves, but it’s in those years they actually need us more. They need us to answer questions, they need us to be available for when they are “ready” to talk, and they need us to be that pain-in-the-butt mom who gets a little nosy. Most importantly they need us to model what it looks like to be a friend, a mother, a neighbor and a person of God. ?

See, our kids are watching us. 
If they see us giving our precious time to everyone single person who asks and leaving none for family, then they will do grow up to do the same to their own family – including us. 
If they see us stress over the dumb stuff, take on too much, not make time for them and put ourselves last… guess what they will do when they grow up? 
If they see us glorifying busy and making less time for them… what do you think they will do when they grow up? 
And if we are present, but not fully present with our kids (you know, not looking them in the eyes when they talk, on our phone constantly, and not sharing those little moments that are actually big deals and show our kids they are loved)… yah,… they learn that too.

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You don’t want to be the mom whose kids don’t visit her when she’s older because they were never taught how to care for a human being and develop real relationships. Because that’s the thing isn’t it? If we don’t show them that family matters, then why would it suddenly matter when they are grown up? The answer is, it won’t.

Make time for them now so they make time for you later

Does this mean giving up all of your time to your kids? Of course not! Mom’s got to have some time for herself too. But it does mean giving our kids a great portion of our time and really being fully present with them. 

Giving time to our kids doesn’t have to be anything fancy. It can be as simple as them helping us with the laundry or other household chores. It can be chatting with them as we build LEGOs together, or going outside to kick the soccer ball around. It can be serving at your church and doing so in a capacity that allows them to serve with you. It can be volunteering at their school, but doing it with them.

You get the idea. 

But I know,…It’s hard. It’s really hard, to go against the modern day norm and slow down. To do less, and be present more often than not. 

But if we can, the rewards will be so vast. 

You got this.

Share below your favorite things to do with your kids.

The reality of what kids learn from us as parents

4 comments

  1. Being present and fully engaged with my daughter is one of my biggest goals. I want her to know how loved she is and I try my hardest to invest in her daily. Something my husband and I can do a better job at is putting our phones down when we walk in the door to ensure we’re fully present. Thank you for sharing!

  2. I noticed recently that my husband and I were not really present around the kids. We have texts, Reddit and Instagram to check…every minute of the day….So I challenged him this past week to put his phone away for one week while at home with the kids. We both were much more interactive with the kids, we got outside a lot and just felt so much more connected as a family. And I noticed less tantrums from the kids because they were fighting for our attention. It was definitely worth it to put the phones down, and we are setting a good example for them.

  3. Very good points! My only child is 12 and I CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT believe that he will be out of the house in just a few years. We homeschool him so we get loads of quality time, but even with that I need to remind myself to set time aside just to enjoy him.

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